Bad Judgment at the TSA

Maybe I’m just plain stupid, but I simply can’t understand all the fuss from some pinheads out there about our patriots at the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) patting down passengers at airports. Why should anyone object to a little crotch groping if it means we’ll be safe on the airplane from terrorists?

Geez-o-Pete … some people will bitch and moan about the least little thing.

Just because government agents want to grab and squeeze everyone’s sex organs while looking for weapons and bombs doesn’t mean their intent is sexual. So, come on people; what’s the big deal? It’s a dirty job looking for terrorists, and somebody has to do it.

When looking for terrorists, everyone is a likely suspect.

Now all the anarchist kooks and liberty freaks in La-La Land, (you know who you are), are riled up about TSA agents in Detroit just doing their jobs by singling out a 29 year old severely mentally disabled man, on a trip to Disney World with Mom and Dad, wearing adult diapers, for a comprehensive junk checking pat-down search.

When the father tried to intervene and explain his son’s disability, the agents told him: “Please, sir, we know what we’re doing.” You’re darned right they know what they’re doing. And, Daddy trying to intervene just makes the situation all the more suspicious, in my opinion.

My goodness! A 29 year old man with the mental capacity of 2-year-old wearing diapers should make anyone suspicious for heavens sake. There might be a plastic bomb planted by Mommy in those diapers. Diapers are a perfect place to stash a bomb. I’m surprised that the terrorists haven’t thought of putting some explosive diaper padding in the pants of a special-needs passenger before. It’s absolutely brilliant!

And, here, the agents also found and confiscated, of all things, a six-inch hammer made out of plastic on this same suspicious looking passenger. His cagey parents tried to tell the agents that the tiny hammer was just something their disabled son carried around with him as a means of comfort for the last 20 years, but the eagle-eyed agents saw it for what it really was: a potential security threat to everyone on the airplane.

He might have conked a flight attendant on the head with that six-inch plastic hammer and taken over the aircraft. The agents tapped the wall with it, and told Daddy, “See, it’s hard. It could be used as a weapon.” So the family was told they’d have to ship the dangerous hammer separately if they wanted their son to keep it.

There now, do you see now how nice and accommodating our heroic TSA agents can be in the face of constant adversity at the airport?

OK, OK, so there was no bomb in the diaper this time, and the hammer was just a harmless plastic toy, but one can never be sure about these kinds of things. That’s why every infant and toddler – especially adults and feeble minded old ladies -- at the airport wearing diapers should not only be patted down, but thoroughly strip searched as well, strictly, of course, in the perfectly reasonable interest of passenger safety.

Now, after all the uproar from pinheads, the TSA has seemingly caved in and apologized to the man’s family, saying they’re reviewing the incident. Maybe the man’s toy hammer should have never been confiscated, and maybe -- just maybe -- this was an “isolated case of bad judgment,” said the TSA.

Again; maybe I’m just plain stupid, but all I can think to say is: if this was a case of bad judgment, then the entire mission of the TSA is a case of bad judgment.

Does that make sense to you?