Tit Felonies in North Carolina

Once again Republican lawmakers in America are conclusively demonstrating their ultra-right-wing, statist, hysterical and anal retentive political loser tendencies for the entire world to see.

Some of them are so diabolically fixated on sex and sexual body parts that they can hardly think of anything else important enough with which to occupy their legislative attentions. It’s no wonder that the average American is afraid of these sanctimonious pathological losers and wouldn’t vote for one of them under any conceivable circumstance.

The Republicans in the North Carolina House are the latest case in point. They’re now focusing on the matter of tits, or more particularly female tits. They don’t seem to care about the male variety.

A Republican backed bill offered in the North Carolina legislature which would send women to prison for going topless appears headed for approval. The statist prudes want to amend the state's indecent exposure law to expand the legal definition of "private parts" to explicitly include "the nipple, or any portion of the areola, or the female breast."

Imagine that! They actually want to lock women up in a cage for going topless, something that men do any time they please.

Depending on whether such exposure is judged to be "for the purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire," a woman first-time offender could be charged with a felony, punishable by up to six months in prison. More mundane exposure would be a misdemeanor meriting up to 30 days in jail.

Co-sponsor Rep. Rayne Brown, R-Davidson, told members of the House Judiciary Committee that her bill was triggered by topless rallies promoting women's equity that were held during the last two years in Asheville, NC. She says that her constituents are concerned whether the topless protests are legal.

Brown said a blanket solution is needed to give law enforcement officers statewide the clear authority to make arrests when nipples are exposed. A separate state law specifically outlaws "sexually explicit nudity," including nipples, exposed in the presence of minors.

“Look, mommy, there’s (gasp!), a nipple!”

And here I’ve always thought that most minors were used to the sight of nipples having been exposed to them frequently enough since the day they were born. Furthermore, I seriously doubt that the topless women at political rallies promoting women’s equality are topless “for the purpose of arousing or gratifying sexual desire."

That’s the last reason they’re doing it. They just want to be equal with men. They only want equality. Topless gets them attention.

Men have tits too, don’t they? Men have nipples, areolas, and breasts that would surely meet the definition of “private parts,” under this law and some of them are even grotesquely large, as large and equal in appearance, in fact, as female breasts.  

Shouldn’t men have to go to prison too for going topless? If not, then it seems to me that this proposed law will violate the Fifth and Fourteenth Amendments in the Constitution’s Bill of Rights guaranteeing equal protection of the law.

I can visualize a crowd of angry women going topless at political rallies all over the state to protest this stupid law.

They don’t want to be found guilty of tit felonies in North Carolina.