Parasite Panic

Have you ever spotted a fat, juicy, satisfied blood sucking tick firmly attached to your dog, and pulled it off with a pair of tweezers watching its legs flailing about wildly before you dispatched it? 

That’s what parasites do when you suddenly deprive them of their hosts. They panic.

And that’s just what the alarmed parasitical politicians in Washington are doing today as they rush to decide what to do about America’s corporate “hosts” that are fed up with over taxation and are moving overseas to avoid it.

The politicians are panicking.

It’s parasite panic.

When Americans, including American corporations, look for entirely legal ways to reduce their enormously burdensome tax liability, the political parasites panic. They don’t like being deprived of their “hosts.”

“Like most of my colleagues here today, I have deep concerns about the practice of companies moving overseas for the primary purpose of avoiding U.S. taxes.  Average Americans and companies that remain in America are rightfully outraged when companies leave the United States, leaving the rest of us to foot the bill,” whined Republican U.S. Senator Chuck Grassley this week to the fervent approval of his fellow parasites on both sides of the aisle.    

An inversion involves a U.S. corporation buying or setting up a smaller company abroad, then shifting its tax home base to that company’s country, which typically has lower tax rates than in the United States. The strategy can put foreign earnings out of the reach of the Internal Revenue Service and make other tax savings possible that can boost a multinational company’s bottom line.

The chorus of panicking parasites on Capitol Hill calling for an end to corporate inversions grew louder as the Senate Finance Committee held a hearing on the issue of American companies reincorporating abroad, and legislators proposed new punitive measures against inverted companies.

Senator Ron Wyden, Democrat from Oregon and chairman of the committee, said that chief executives from several companies in the process of inverting were invited to testify, but none accepted the offer.

Why am I not surprised?

Would you accept the offer of a parasite to attend his picnic if you knew you would be the host?

Wyden described corporate inversions as a “plague,” and called for retroactive legislation that would eliminate substantial tax benefits of many of the cross-border deals announced over the last year. “The inversion virus now seems to be multiplying every few days,” cried the parasite. “The underlying sickness continues to gnaw away at the American economy with increasing intensity.”

The political parasites in Washington actually believe in their hearts that innocent hardworking Americans trying to legally reduce their taxes amount to a plague and a virus. That’s because they are panicking parasites afraid of losing their hosts.

But it’s the parasites that are killing the golden goose. They’re the ones gnawing away at the American economy – not the profitable corporations and hardworking individuals.

So just like with the fat blood sucking tick you pulled off your dog …

… It’s parasite panic.